Sometimes I find myself praying for the musicians I used to listen to. See, a buddy gave me an ipod and I have since put all the music I have ever owned on it. So now, when I drive in my car and put it on shuffle, I am surprised by gems which I haven't heard in a while, simply because I haven't had the time to sit and listen to some good music in a long while. Occasionally, when a tune comes up, I am compelled to pray for the artist. Here is an example of what goes on in my spirit/brain:
Driving along, going to the post office, System of a Down's Toxicity came on. I listened, happy my ipod reminded me of this art I loved so much. I listened and analyzed. Then, I heard scripture in my spirit/brain. In the book of John, the first thing Jesus says is, "What are you seeking?"
When The first disciples began to follow him, culturally they were saying, 'we want to learn from you; we want to be your students'. In following him, literally walking behind him, they were engaging in a cultural custom. It was not uncommon for a scholar to have a whole retinue of students walking behind him, hanging on to his every word, mimicking his every action in the market, and basically trying to glean whatever bit of wisdom they could. So when the disciples started following Jesus, he knew exactly what they were doing. Yet He asked, "What are you seeking?" He wanted them to question themselves; to dig deep into their motives and discover what they were truly desiring.
So, whenever I can, I ask myself, "What are you seeking?". In this case with System of a Down, I asked myself, "What were you seeking, when you were listening to this music? Why did you love it so?"
It became clear what I was seeking when track 10 played. It is called science, and you can see the video
Here
(I recommend closing your eyes. The video is set to an anime (my favorite BTW) but it ultimately detracts from the song itself. Just please listen to the lyrics and the music first.)
This song, these artists, and others like them reinforced in me what I felt to be true: "Science fails to recognize the single most/potent element in human existence/ letting the reigns go/ to the unfolding is faith, faith, faith, faith/ SCIENCE HAS FAILED OUR WORLD/ SCIENCE HAS FAILED OUR MOTHER EARTH/ Spirit moves through all things, spirit moves through all things, spirit moves through all things..."
But so long as I only felt that to be true, and didn't know, I couldn't get anywhere. I was seeking, in other words, reassurance that I wasn't as crazy and weird as the world said I was.
Now, I am Christian, and I wonder what has changed. Now I see that science hasn't failed our world. We have. Science hasn't forgotten spirit. We have. We got confused. The Bible teaches that has made us a holistic creature with two parts: the tangible, and the intangible. Empirical physical science can only detect the tangible. It is up to the social sciences and the arts to teach us about the intangible. Science has not failed us. We have instead made a god out of science, and I, like many others including System of a Down, were upset that it was unable to be a god and provide us with all the answers. So we were willing to throw it out entirely in favor of a generic spirit. However, I and many others including System of a Down had done the same thing with Spirit, and made a god out of it. We had built our own perceptions into a system and labeled it reality, and then expected our own metaphysical creation to give us all the answers and be the source and the finality of our existence; to be the Alpha and Omega.
Why? Well, to "let the reigns go to the unfolding". The same drive that has been the locus for humanity since the beginning. Even the hard core atheists expect Science to continually unfold and answer everything to give us solace in the dark when we cry in the face our monsters. Its called Faith. We all have faith in something. Some people call it purpose, but it is the same thing. Even nihilists have faith in their own apathy. We put faith in money, children, tax brackets, country clubs, knowledge, a lifestyle, you name it. At the time I bought that album, I put my faith in the spiritual world I was discovering through drugs, music, sex, and magick.
Then Christ got me. He didn't get me until I asked Him to, though. Although I didn't exactly ask Him, per se. I was just finally ready to accept the truth, even though it wasn't what I wanted to hear. For those of you who don't know how I accepted Christ, I'll give you a little insight.
I was a magician and a philosophy student. I believed in a spiritual realm and I was looking for the truth. I finally figured, 'well, the truth is out there. The universe has to be alive, because only living things can contain life. So, I'll just ask the truth to show itself to me, and see what happens." Long story short, the truth told me that unlike all the other religions and philosophies that were doing same thing I was doing, building my own system and calling it God, Christianity is the account of the Truth actually coming down to earth and telling us what's what. And if I stop being close-minded and bigoted long enough to seriously look at what the bible said about Who we are, How things got the way they were, and where we were heading, He would be faithful to guide me to the answers I was seeking. But first, I had to know what I was seeking, and be willing to follow Jesus' story long enough to find out and see what He told me.
The more and more I follow Jesus' story, the more I understand what I was seeking, and the more I find it. So, when I happen across old favorites like System of a Down, I find the Holy Spirit urging me to pray for them. Because they are in the same boat looking for the same shore I was. I hope they find it, and that they come stumbling off that rickety boat they made with their own hands and collapse in the fertile earth that is the Word crying, 'Thank you, Lord. Thank you. Please... give us rest and sanctuary. And when we recover, show us the beauty of the universe as you made it. Show us the beauty of who you are as you see yourself to be, on your own terms, instead of who we try to make you into. Let us walk in your land forever, and be healed. Let us know joy, truly for the first time. Let us be because you are. Will you, please, be our Father?' And God, just like He did for me, will say 'Yes'. But it takes humility, first. A willingness to take Truth for what it is, even if it hurts.
So, yeah. Sometimes, when I listen to music, I pray.
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